Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Quick reminder to self.

I need to really stop and re-evaluate what I'm doing. I had a 3.6 lb loss a week ago and was up one from that at weigh-in Saturday.

This week isn't going perfect (not a train wreck either) so I need to STOP and turn it around into a good week. I am hoping I can be down at least 1 (to get rid of the gain) and any extra is a bonus!

I have this beautiful dress hanging in my room that won't fit. The one I ordered from Urban Outfitters. I can get it on and zipped 3/4th of the way. Enough to see how good it would look on me. Fxck the would! It will look good on me when I go to see how it fits the weekend before we leave.

I showed my mom this weekend and she was a little skeptical about it fitting in 5 weeks time but I want to prove her wrong and show myself that I can get back on the wagon.

The other day I even let myself think about a "back-up plan" dress. No. There is no back-up dress. I will try my hardest and if on December 4th the dress won't fit at least I'll know I gave it all I had and I can go to the mall that weekend to find something.

Additional incentives for NY trip if I reach my goal of 165-168:
-one new pair of jeans
-two new sweaters or shirts

I know this is going to sound ridiculous but last night I was watching this Say Yes to The Dress show but the new "Big Bliss" version for plus sized women and I felt sad. Was that going to be me? Okay, fine, obviously not because I'm a size 12 and not a 22 but they even said if you're over a size 10 you're in trouble with wedding dress shopping. I want to be back to a size 8-10 for when the day comes that I have to try on dresses.

The show really upset me to be honest. I know I'm not huge and just have a little extra padding to shed but I was huge. I remember the feeling as it was yesterday of being a size 22.

So yes, I just needed to remind myself why I'm doing this because it's one of the most important things in the world to me, so why am I putting it on the back burner? No more of that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stop watching the fat woman bride show! You are not a fat woman and you are not going to be a fat woman bride!

NEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Neeeeee! i say!

meanwhile, I just tried to eat a two bite cupcake and it fell out of my hand and onto the floor. Again, the universe tries to stop me from eating treats. :x