Thinking thoughts...

Yesterday wasn't a good day for a few reasons. My knees were bugging me and it was upsetting, I was feeling burnt out with my job, discouraged about my lack of weight loss and sad about my lack of friends.

I won't get into the details of everything.

I ended up skipping my strength yesterday because the idea of squats and lunges on my hurting knees seemed bad. Not to mention I was at the doctor until almost 5:30 so I got home later than expected.

So in terms of weight loss (or lack there of) I keep getting so upset. I feel like I'm stuck and I'll never get to my goal of 145.

Just an hour ago I was sitting at my desk having these thoughts. I want so badly to lose 20lbs before John and I go to NYC in December and I keep thinking of how I'm failing and won't get there.

Then my mind sort of went, "Well you're the only one who can give you what you want." It's true, no one can do some magic and make me 20 lbs lighter. I have to get my act together and focus on healthy eating habits.

So that is what I am going to do. I am going to focus on my eating habits more. I have two weeks left before the 10k but like I touched on in an earlier post I need to move some attention away from running and put it back on tracking, healthy habits etc.

With that said, I don't think I will be doing the half-marathon in February. At first I was really excited about it and part of me still wants to do it but part of me knows focusing that much on increased mileage etc. is going to perpetuate my lack of attention to my eating habits.

Could I do both? Maybe, but I want to prioritize and this what is best for me.

I am not going to quit running. In fact I want to continue with 5k/10k distances and really work on getting solid 10 min. miles.

In addition I am going to re-join the gym I think and also start doing spinning again as well as at least two days a week of strength. So all in all my activity level will not drop, it will just change. I want to at minimum keep two run days. One short run day (5k distance) and one long run day (5-6 miles). John has a bike and maybe for Christmas I can get one so we can ride together. :)

So anyway back to my main man(woman?) eating habits/weight loss:

When I was very successful and losing weight almost every week (2005-early 2007) I was VERY diligent about tracking. I found that with my body and what worked for me I could not use my WAP and expect to lose. Maybe using 5-10 would be okay but for the most part if I wanted a nice loss I had to forget about those WAP. Now, back in those days I was working out 5-6 days a week and I would use my AP. The difference between then and now is I didn't work out as intensely (i.e. 5 mile runs) so I'd never get more than 3 AP.

Things I am going to start focusing on and habits I want to change:

• Honest tracking, track everything, one BLT = 1 point (i.e. bite of John's dinner = 1 point! That should help deter me!)
• Snacking during the day. I eat healthy but I am a HUGE snacker which gets me in trouble with going over points. I need to plan for a mid-morning snack, mid-afternoon and after dinner snack so I can stay in points.
• Snacking at night. This just needs to stop. It is a bad, bad habit that there is no need for it.
• Eating out! Eating out is a big thing for John and I. It's the social thing we do with friends and John and I are also big foodies. We love watching Food Network and trying new places. Mind you, we have a list for our trip already... ;) When I eat out I need to make sure it's somewhere that has options. I also have to realize I might be the only one not having a delicious fattening plate but that it's okay.
• Emotions. That is a big thing for me. I am an emotional eater and very emotional in general. When I am feeling a certain way I need to ask myself why I am feeling like this and try to address the problem without food!

Okay so that leads me to my final item...the reward jar! I am going to get a jar this weekend that will collect some type of item (let's say paper clips for now). For each day I succeed in something listed below a paper clip will go in the jar. One paper clip = $1! I can collect it before our NY trip and cash in.

Rewarded behaviors:

• No night snacking = 2
• Staying within daily points = 1
• Banking APs earned = 1

So as you can see the night snacking is rewarded a little more because that is such a bad habit. I was going to add an item for a completed workout but let's not go crazy. I don't want to owe myself $500. ;)

Reward bank begins Saturday and will be cashed in on December 4th!

That is all for now! This was long, hope you read. :)